In his other life, El Jefe wrote a magnificent data science article about Valentine’s Day data statistics. I refuse to link to it because nerds are delivering him more click through rates than me.

According to him, 52% of Americans will be celebrating Valentine’s Day and will spend $192 to celebrate, or makeup, their love.

For the first time, here’s how you can spend that $192 on your sweetie.

Flowers Are Always a Winner

46% of consumers claim they didn’t like their Valentine’s Day gift. Most women prefer a card, candy, or flowers. If you’re one of those fools who shout:

I ain’t buying flowers because they die.

An Ignorant Man

You can instead pick up this wonderful bouquet of flowers from LEGO. For a steal, you can buy a DIY flower kit of roses for $59.99. If you think roses are played you can also order a wildflower bouquet for the same price.

Chocolates Are Forever In Style

Ever since Ray Cadbury came up with the brilliant idea to sell his candies in a heart shaped box, chocolates in a heart shaped box has never gotten old.

Godiva’s 14-piece chocolate set on Amazon is a great gift that won’t break the bank or diet. 14 pieces isn’t enough to get fat, but just enough to build up that love energy for those fade-to-black moments.

At $30, it’s a no brainer.

Nothing Beats Presentation

Men don’t get it, but many of us gals like the grand gesture, and if you’re looking for grand and traditional then a hat box of Eternal Roses is the ticket.

Venus et Fleur sells decadently red roses in a hat box. The presentation is everything and the videos of a lady gently stroking these flowers is top notch product porn.

This gift is pricey though. At $399, this gift isn’t for the faint of heart or purveyor of the coffee date. This Valentine’s Day gift says, “I’m yours. Forever yours.”

The Daily Gift That Keeps On Giving

I can’t even take credit for this one, but if your loved one started the year off in an earnest dash to accomplish New Years resolutions this is the perfect gift.

Oprah recommends the Rocket Book Smart Notebook as her second highest gift idea. The smart notebook will allow your honey to take notes, make journal entries, and craft affirmation old school and have them transcribed to their smartphone.

A practical gadget from the heart to help them accomplish their goals.

Brilliant. Cheap. $22.

For the DIYer Who Can’t Be Satisfied

If you’re looking for a gift that can express your love, while not being commodified, but giving you the option to make it unique, I’ve got you.

Head over to MyCustomHeart.com and do a custom Valentine’s Day build.

You can follow a 16-step process to custom build a sweetheart box filled with soaps, candles, sweets and more of your choice. You can pick the color of the box, and its lining. Plus, customize what goes in the box including a picture of you, you and them to set it off.

Also, the cost depends on how sophisticated you want to make your custom sweetheart box.

Go for it!

Regardless of what you get your loved one for Valentine’s Day, at the VERY MINIMUM, get them a card. Even though Americans are set to spend two hundred dollars on this not-so-made-up holiday, most people want something simple. Jewelry, cars, and excess are the least wanted gifts. Remember, cards, candy, and flowers. And love. If you’re one of those newfound couples going out to dinner on amateur night, don’t cheap out, and spring for dessert and an extra cocktail.

-MJ