I always failed at long distance relationships.

After a hot and heavy summer or a conference fling I’d start a new long distance relationship strong. I’d text, email, and call. I’d even stay up late and play the, No-You-Hang-Up game. I even did some long distance traveling up and down the East Coast for a minute. Unfortunately, nothing replaces good ole fashioned time together.

Chinese inventor, Jiang Zhongli aims to change that with a new, patented kissing machine. For $41, couples can kiss each other miles away with an animotronic pair of lips telegraphing their loved one’s kisses. Jhongli invented the device after spending long nights away from his lover at college. He and his girlfriend could only contact each other through their phones and it wasn’t enough.

How It Works

Little motors and actuators move the mouth and lips to playback the pre-recorded kisses. Sensors inside the lips capture temperature, pressure, and movement providing the best approximation to the real thing.

Users smooch the device and it records every sloppy nibble and lip curl. After recording their kisses, smoochers upload kisses to the cloud for others to experience. The device pairs with a phone providing access to pre-recorded kisses. Users can also join a “kissing square” and anonymously kiss others without needing to know who they are.

Reactions

The Internet was instantly creeped out. Many commenters said the lips were vulgar and looked creepy. One Weibo user quipped, ““I don’t understand (the device) but I’m utterly shocked.” Plus, the device discriminates against the French. There are no tongue actuators with the device making it difficult to go in for passionate face sucking.

You can see the device in action on CNN.com.

I’ll be sticking to the real thing, thank you very much.